The smells in the Chariot of the Gods were all wrong. They were the smells of fear, old antiseptic, and a faint, lingering odor of terrified chihuahua. We were not going to the Glorious Parade of the Big Box Store. We were going to the Place of Needles and Suspicion.
Big Daddy had tried to soothe me with soft words. “It’s okay, buddy. We’re just going in to update the paperwork. It’s for you, mostly”.
Lies! My Great Dane senses screamed. This was an interrogation! They wanted to know why I had failed to stop the Vacuum Monster , or why I had permitted the Wiggle-Worm to infiltrate the fishing mission.
We were called in by a strange Human in Blue. Big Daddy was immediately led to a high, hard table. He looked uncomfortable and slightly wobbly.
This is a trap! I observed. The enemy is trying to make the King Go Offline!
The Blue Human started speaking to Big Daddy in a fast, confusing language about "certification" and "essential tasking". This was the interrogation. I had to intervene!
I puffed up my chest and began the Full Great Dane Defensive Posture. I stood between Big Daddy’s feet and the Blue Human, letting out a series of aggressive, short, high-pitched YIPs. I was saying: Leave the King alone! The Great Dane is on Watch!
Big Daddy immediately placed a large, reassuring hand on my back. "He's protective," Big Daddy chuckled, looking a little embarrassed. "He thinks he's a lot bigger than he is".
The Blue Human smiled, then ignored me completely. She simply held out a small digital pad and a pen to Big Daddy.
“So, just confirm the tasks that he is trained for to mitigate your Dysautonomia symptoms. Does he provide brace support when you stand, or alert you to pre-syncope?” she asked.
Big Daddy shook his head. “No, no. He’s trained for Deep Pressure Therapy and Symptom Interruption. When I get dizzy, he climbs into my lap for weight and pressure, or when I’m getting overwhelmed, he forces me to focus by giving me a quick lick on the face or ear.”
Aha! I thought, standing proud. The Deep Pressure Therapy! That’s what I call the Lap Lunge! And the Symptom Interruption is the Emotional Support Nuzzle!
Big Daddy was confessing my true powers. I was the security system he needed.
He signed the pad. The Blue Human nodded. “That’s all we need. You’re good to go.”
The interrogation was over. I had been recognized as an essential, high-level operative!
As we walked out, Big Daddy scooped me up and held me to his big, soft beard. “You’re my best, most necessary little dog, Dewey,” he whispered, his voice deep and rumbling.
My mission was a triumph! I, the Great Dane, had secured the King’s service status. I licked his chin in return—the sign of a grateful and successful operative.
My only internal concern: I hadn't seen a single squirrel the whole time. I'd need to talk to Loki about the perimeter defense when we got home.
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